Returning to Life after a 10-day Post Intensive Retreat at Snowmass CO

Only ten days have passed since I hit the blast of real world tension, sound, speed, and blare.  This is American Reality, my extensive "to do" list pushing at me daily, hundreds of emails, and dozens of cell phone messages.

Is it necessary to have my cell phone turned on, and with me all the time?  Is it necessary to have a cell phone?  Do I need a two bedroom condo?  Perhaps I need a cabin in the woods and my own garden living off the land.  My vision of my reality has gently shifted.

Lingering in my psyche is the silence--just being--so in the moment.  Remembering walking with only the sound of the snow crunching under my boots.  I was so aware of my connection with the infinite and the infinitesimal.  Down the little path from my hermitage to the retreat center, still with the ever present crunch, crunch, crunch.  I pause.  A coyote is calling to his sweetie.  Silence.  Now, the answer far off.  My delight in the privilege of sharing this natural, beautiful mountain valley with wild things, remembering always the connection in the silence.   

My heart is ruling me.  I got there during those ten days.  It is a deeper journey then my daily pair of twenty-minute sits.  They continue and help me maintain (so far) some of the mystery of the retreat.  They keep me grounded in the memory.  In Colorado I held my breath at the beauty of the sparkling crystals of ice decorating everything, a winter glaze of diamonds.  I pause and feel it and admire it and know ABSOLUTELY that I am a part of this whole creation and it is deeply meaningful and always mysterious.  Now, to be so present that even in the hubbub of "my world" I could wonder at the winter glaze of diamonds.  It happens here in Wisconsin too.  Do I participate in the knowing of it?  Where am I?  I am "busy."  I don't take time to WONDER at it.  But, now, after this deeping I have experienced I will.  My heart will leap.  I will pause.  The "to do" list can wait.  I protect jealously such a moment.

Now time is my most valuable commodity.  It is my gift from my Higher Power to cherish.  I must save time to embrace all that is.  I must save time for the SILENCE and my heart singing.  Most of all I must schedule a trip back to the WONDER.  A trip inward to honor my connection, deeper and deeper to my Higher Power.  I look forward to the next ten days carved out of the chaos to be replenished.